Of Past Regret & Present Fear
by Shining Friendship
Summary: [Post-X1] Jean confronts the Professor over Mystique's decision to poison him by sabotaging Cerebro and he reveals their complicated history to her. (Charles/Raven)


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

 **A/N:** I've wanted to write a fic with present/future Charles and Raven for the longest time, but given the fact that they never spoke to each other in the original _X-Men_ trilogy, it was difficult to pinpoint a moment where their relationship might be brought up offscreen. I thought about it and post-X1 seemed like a good place for the Professor to admit to someone that he once shared a very close bond with Mystique. Anyways, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

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Logan was gone, Magneto was locked away in his plastic prison cell, and Mystique was still impersonating Senator Kelly on Capitol Hill, yet the school quickly managed to get back into its normal routines after Liberty Island. The children were done with their lessons for the day, and Scott was busy changing the engine oil to his blue Mazda RX-8. As she approached the Professor's private study, Jean knew she was early for their telepathy session, but she needed to discuss an issue that had been bothering her since she used Cerebro to track down Magneto. The redhead knocked on his door and waited for him to let her inside. Charles was behind his desk, browsing through a small stack of papers, when he looked up and immediately sensed her distress.

"Jean, I wasn't expecting you for another twenty minutes. Is everything alright?"

"No, it isn't."

"What's troubling you?"

"Mystique. Why did she sabotage Cerebro?"

"We both know why. She was following Erik's orders."

"They could've done a million different things to try and stop us from rescuing Rogue, but she went after you. Mystique poisoned you and put you in a coma for days. Why?"

"The situation is a lot more complicated than you think, my dear."

Confused by what the paraplegic meant, Jean studied him carefully. Charles seemed off, as if he was holding something back. That's when the truth hit her. In all the years they had been fighting against the Brotherhood and their goals for mutant superiority, the Professor had never interacted with Mystique. Not once. She was always somewhere else, conveniently missing whenever a heated showdown occurred. It was too much of a coincidence to be just that.

"You know her."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement, a fact that he couldn't deny to his closest student. The powerful telepath closed his eyes and tilted his bald head forward, confirming her suspicion.

"We met when we were children. She disguised herself as my mother in an attempt to steal food. I was so delighted to find another mutant that I took her in, gave her a place to call home."

"You grew up with Mystique?"

"She wasn't always Mystique. She was Raven... a kind, peace-loving girl whom I loved very much. Almost like a sister."

"What happened to her?"

"I drove her away. I spent years trying to convince Raven that hiding her blue skin was the best way to protect herself from a world that may fear and hate her. Due to my influence, my regard for her safety, she grew concerned about her appearance. She was torn between wanting to look 'normal' and wanting to be proud of her mutation. After we befriended Erik, he was instantly attracted to her natural form and shape-shifting abilities. He helped Raven embrace herself, but he also convinced her that humanity would never accept us."

"She joined the Brotherhood because—"

"—he got inside her head."

The low-level telekinetic detected a hint of anger in Charles' tone when he interrupted her, suggesting that he still held a little resentment towards his old friend for manipulating Mystique and taking her away from everything she knew... _from him_.

"You still care about her."

"I could never stop caring about Raven, no matter how much Erik's influence brainwashed her."

Jean understood how strong the bond between siblings could be, but there was something far greater than brotherly love coming from the Professor's current demeanor. It was a side of him she hadn't seen before. She was tempted to use her powers to have a clearer idea of their complex history, but he taught her only to do that when it was necessary or with permission.

"I made so many promises to her..." he trailed on, his voice laced with emotion. "...promises I couldn't keep. I vowed to protect her. I vowed to respect her privacy and never read her mind. That's why she abandoned me. The moment I read her mind, I knew she would be hurt by my betrayal. What I didn't know... What I failed to see... was that she had feelings for me. When I finally saw the truth, it was too late. Her heart belonged to Erik, and I told her to go with him."

"Why?"

"Because Raven's happiness was more important than my desire for her to stay."

"Professor, did you—"

"—have feelings for her?" Charles briefly mused over the inquiry and replied, "There was a time when her absence consumed me so much that I would've done anything to get her back. Deep down, I knew my feelings for her were stronger than they probably should have been, but I didn't care. I still don't. Part of my heart will always belong to Raven."

He opened his middle desk drawer, took out a silver picture frame, and gazed at the photo fondly before allowing Jean to see it. The frame levitated towards her and she grabbed it. The snapshot was of a handsome, young man and an attractive blonde in her late teens. He had brown hair and was dressed in black slacks, a white button-front shirt and navy blue cardigan. She was wearing a black and white v-neck blouse with a black skirt, black leather boots, and white scarf. She smiled for the camera, a faint blush on her cheeks, while he kissed her temple and had his arm wrapped around her slender waist. The redhead was surprised to catch a glimpse of Mystique in such a cheerful, carefree state. It was the exact opposite of the sleek, deadly assassin she had evolved into.

"Where was this taken?"

"Oxford, 1961."

"You two look happy."

"We were."

Utilizing her telekinesis again, Jean returned the frame to him. "What did you do after she left?"

"Nothing," Charles confessed remorsefully, putting his treasured photo back inside the drawer. "When the Vietnam War forced me to close the school, I locked myself inside the mansion for years, became a hermit. I abused drugs and alcohol to cope with my pain, instead of going out and finding her. If I had, perhaps Raven wouldn't be the woman she is today."

"You can't blame yourself for the choices she made."

"Maybe not, but I could've done more to show her how much she meant to me. I should've done more. It's a mistake that will haunt me for the rest of my life."

"Why doesn't anyone else know about your past together?"

"It's not something I'm comfortable talking about."

"You confided in me."

"Your relationship with Logan reminded me how you always see the best in people. It didn't take long for you to look past the animal and identify the man. If Raven showed up on our doorstep tomorrow, I believe you would be able to excuse the crimes she's committed and welcome her home."

Despite the villainous crusade Mystique had embarked on since the day she left Charles, his love and compassion for the shapeshifter knew no bounds. He would forgive her, defend her, accept her back into his life without a second thought.

"You should reach out—"

"No," he interjected, shaking his head in disagreement. "It's better this way. I made peace with Raven's decision years ago."

"Are you sure?"

"I just want her to be happy."

Trusting him, Jean stepped towards the desk and laid her hand on top of his. "I'm here for you, Professor, whenever you need to vent."

"Thank you, my dear," he smiled appreciatively, grateful for her kindness and discretion. "Now, shall we begin your lesson?"

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 **A/N:** Is the story worth continuing?


End file.
